Being single after a long term relationship can be VERY daunting, you have gone from someone being there all the time to not at all, it’s a massive change, but there IS life after a long term relationship, you just need to follow and remember a few things...
Firstly and most importantly, this is the hardest step, but you need to stop obsessing over and thinking about your ex! I know, I know, it’s not easy, you may find yourself thinking, should I text him? Just text him! See how he's doing?! ... No no no! If you have just picked up your phone to text him, check the time instead, and then obey by the one hour rule, the chances are you only have the urge to text because its Monday night, and your either bored, feeling a little lonely or your too used to him occupying your time that it’s on impulse. So follow the one hour rule when the urge to text is high, occupy yourself, go for a run, catch up on blogs, write your own blog, go for a shower, text a friend instead, anything, just do anything to occupy yourself, seems a little hard to believe that the urge will fade after an hour, but you will realise the urge to text, was just simply that, an urge. And you will come to see that you to stay on track you need to fill your time with distractions.
You need to identify the triggers that remind you of your ex, delete that one song that you shared off your Ipod, listening to it and reminiscing will not get you anywhere in a rush, put away the jewellery, the teddies, the photo frames he bought you, wearing the necklace saying "I love you from the bottom of my heart" will NOT make you feel good in the slightest. And most importantly, and most obvious, facebook, need I say more? Stop stalking his facebook, you know already it’s not going to help. Where vulnerable to those emotional tugs, not all are avoidable, but we must eliminate as many as we can. I re-decorated my bedroom after a long term relationship, helps you to feel fresh, and a tidy room is a tidy mind!
This is the best bit of the scenario... Friends!! Ring up a friend, you need to make sure it’s one of your more chattier friends, one that always has something to say, because when we meet up with a friend, we often fixate on bitching about the ex, it is good to vent, but slating them off is not a way to help get over them, your just simply thinking more and more about him. So ensure your friend has plenty to talk about, and who can steer straight away from the topic every time you say "yes me and 'x' used to do that" and "I wonder if 'x' is going to be going to..."
Being single can be fun! Just because you don’t have a boyfriend, it doesn’t mean you can’t have a few crushes. When I was single there was the carrier guy that came into work once a week, I never did have the guts to say anything other than hi, but that passing smile we had always kept a grin on my face after seeing him, and I could have sworn I've seen him stripping at a party, honest! Then there was the beautiful stranger I wrote a blog about, just a passing stranger I tended to see (and fall in front of and choke on apples, if you read "beautiful stranger how do you do" you will understand!). Then there was Australian guy, but we will go into him on another blog! J
Then of course there is coming to realise any hidden talents or hobbies or just something that interests you. Taking up photography, learning to dance, my major break up helped me discover the passion I have for writing, I was one of those who constantly updated their status on Facebook, were some people are interested in what you have been up to and your opinions, turns out some people are just sick to death of you clogging there news feeds and complaining, so to begin with I decided to write a blog, purely to vent, when I discovered it helped I started blogging more and more about myself, and being single, and well it just so turns out some people enjoy reading the crap I like writing about!
To me single life, was me being random, texting your friend in the morning to ask why there was a naked Santa in your bed the morning after? Telling your friends the cringey stories about the time you ended up working in a kebab shop till 5am in another town so you could serve a cute guy you had seen, but just ended up talking about the stock market. Then asking your friends if they can figure out who "Pizza boy" and "Live lounge boy" are, and why they are suddenly in your phone book. I am not at all suggesting be a, hmm how should I say it, slut? I never slept around, I knew that would only make me feel worse, but flirting is always healthy! So take a random trip to London at 4am in the morning, just because you can, agree to go to Scotland for the night, because you just don’t fancy going to the cinema or for a meal, meet new people, catch up with old friends, be that girl your taken friends envy! Above all else, HAVE FUN!
No comments:
Post a Comment