It was mid-week, I was texting a certain guy that I had been on a date with, we went to the pictures, had a good laugh, seemed to hit it off well, he genuinly was a nice guy, and would treat any girl like she deserves to be. We were due to meet up that weekend again for a second date, which I had agreed to, but for some reason I just didn'l feel right about going, so I thought to myself, "oh dear, what excuse can I make this time", then it struck me that I said 'this time', how many dates had I already bailed on, to have come up with so many excuses in the past??
That is when it really dawned on me, I hadn't ever had a second date?! Aged 20, and never had I been on a second date. I would agree to go on the second dates, but always had an excuse, a reason, to just cancel it. Turns out I was scared of commitment, because I had been let down in the past, my head decided to put up barriers around my heart, and prevent anyone from getting remotaly close. Sooo I figured, being single was the option for me, no dates, no stressing over whether or not the guy is going to be right for me! And all was going smoothly, great infact, I was young single and free!
I did get asked out on dates, but I never said yes, until a guy named Shaun decided to mail me through facebook. We had both attended the same college, had friends in common, but we never really spoke, he actually can't remember me to be honest, I was that girl dating that guy to cover up the fact he's gay apparantly! (Anyway back to the point....) He mailed me (whilst drunk, oh yes the 3am drunken mail), Facebook had suggested that we should be friends on facebook, he decided to have a gander of my profile pictures, and found one of me advertising my blog, so he then went on to reading my blog. he went on to tell me he found my blog interesting etc. In all honesty, I wasn't going to reply, I had shown my mum the mail, she thought he sounded very intelectual, and he had put a lot of thought into it and went on to nag me to reply. So I replied, he replied, and yeh we basically got chatting.
Then came the time he was asking me for a first date, eeshk! The excuses had realed out to begin with, but god love him he kept trying, so I figured, he's a nice guy, it could be a laugh, why not? So off we went to the cinema, etc etc etc, he dropped me off at home, like a gentlemen, non of that "would you like a coffee" crap! Then it came to him asking for a second date, double eeshk! We spoke a lot and I felt bad letting him down, I thought to myself "Don't be such a girl, its one more date not a marriage proposal, how bad can it be?!"... So I agreed to a second date, well a few second dates tbh, yep, I cancelled many of them again! Turns out he kind of figured they were excuses and just gave up, I felt awful, so I told him the truth, I had never been on a second date, and in all honesty, I usually run for the hills at the mention of a second date!
It sounds really stupid, but I was genuinly scared of second dates, I don't know if it was the vibes I was feeling off the guys, or if I was still feeling let down from past relationships, or I just really didn't want to be dating anyone at the time, but the thought of coming even close to a relationship was just daunting! Me and Shaun carried on talking, now Shaun is the kind of guy, who once he has his eyes set on something he will get or achieve it, which my mum had pointed out to be a good quality (yes I tell my mum everything, she enjoys reading my mails with me and giving me advice, I hate to admit it, but she is usually right). He then came up with the idea of getting out the house to do something, as friends, clever eh!
We finally met up for our 'friendly outing', he suggested a meal or the cinema, but I wanted to go for a drive, I was a little stressed out, and he knew this, and nothing helps better than a drive, so he suggested the lakes, bit of a drive, but it would give us chance to talk. Since being single, I decided to stop saying no all the time, just be random, take each day as it is, so when we both saw a sign to Scotland, we could hardly rezist! So yes, we ended up going to Scotland, simply for a nice meal! Once we had got there, the heavens had opened, I got soaked, so I was hardly going to sit in a restuarant soaking wet through, so a nice meal turned into a take away in the car, then off we drove back to Blackburn. All in All we had spent a LOT of time together, for just one outting, and we had spoke a hell of a lot, and got to know each other a lot more. You would class it as a second date wouldn't you really? God dam it, he'd found a way around it.
So yes, we went on to having a real second date, and a third and a fourth, turns out we have quite a bit in common, and yes we are now in a relationship! Wowsaaa! Who would have believed it, me in a relationship, I guess being scared of a second date was stupid. You are either ready for dating or your not, what I am getting to is that you shouldn't be scared of going on a date, by all means arrange a date then cancel if your not feeling like your ready, just be honest. And make sure your only cancelling the date because your happy as you are being single, and not because you think all men are the same, there really not, odds of finding a decent guy may be slim, but that makes him worth finding right?
No comments:
Post a Comment